Well, it's time to bid farewell to another year. Do you remember when you were a kid, your parents and pretty much every other adult you knew warned you not to wish your time away? That as you get older, the time will go by faster, and that you should enjoy being young? Well...they were right. Where did this year go? Where did the last few years go?? I can think back to events that were over two years ago, and swear they just happened this year. It makes me feel so old- "Time flies, kids."
I don't even know when I left the safety of my early twenties and entered into my late twenties...it happened while I wasn't looking. My husband actually had to remind me a few months back (or was it a couple years ago?) that I am actually closer to thirty than I am to twenty, and perhaps it's time to stop shopping at Urban Planet and Ardene, where his 15-year old daughter shops (so what if we have some of the same clothes??). At first, I laughed, until I realized he was right. Closer to thirty? But my nineteenth birthday was just a couple years ago. I'm still fresh and young, and if I were an actress, I would totally be eligible for a role as a student on "Degrassi". Totally. Or perhaps I would be more fit for a role of an older sibling...or teacher. But not a parent (unless I was a teenage mom, like Spike). Am I living in denial? I don't think so...aging doesn't scare me (well, maybe a little). I just don't know when I went from nineteen to twenty six- it feels like it all happened in a matter of months. Aren't I supposed to be different? Shouldn't I want to watch CNN instead of Family Channel, read the newspaper instead of a Cosmo, or talk about how juvenile Twilight is instead of counting the days until the next movie comes out? None of those things sound appealing to me. The news makes me weary of ever bringing children into this world, as it seems to be such a mess, and Twlight is a really deep, serious story. Pulitzer material. Okay, maybe not, but when I went to see Eclipse and New Moon (opening nights both times!), there were definitely women older than me there that did not have teens or kids of any age with them.
While I know twenty-six is hardly old, and that I still have a ways to go before I can start qualifying for Senior Discounts (which will be pretty awesome), it makes me uneasy how fast things are really happening. How each year actually does seem shorter, and that all the moments and milestones that I live through become memories before I can even process them. It feels like I am constantly planning, thinking about the future, and all the things we'll do "someday" rather than taking in what is happening now.
So, with all of this in mind, my New Years resolution this year is to just chill out- take it one day at a time and enjoy it. And maybe to stop saying things like "Oh snap!"
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer...
...is by indulging in some comedy! Honestly, at a time of year that is supposed to be joyful, it's not uncommon to see people depressed, stressed, and simply hating the holidays. And really, with all the pressure brought on by Christmas, can you blame them? I am Christmas's biggest fan, and this year even I am trying to find it within myself to embrace the true meaning of Christmas- i.e. spending time with loved ones, not buying gifts. I really love the holidays for that, but I never realized how much I also love the shopping and wrapping and gift-giving. I was feeling pretty down and out about this, and I find the best remedy for some holiday sadness is some holiday comedy. The best week of primetime occurs in early December when my two favourite things come together to make one glorious schmorgesborg of awesome- Christmas sitcom episodes!
I love me a good sitcom, and will watch pretty much whatever happens to be on when I am in the mood for some laughter (except Two and a Half Men, which only makes me want to jump off a cliff). However, there are three current comedies which I follow faithfully: 30 Rock, Glee, and my never-fail show, The Office. The writers of these shows are GENIUS...in another life, I hope to be Tina Fey.
This week, I thought I would walk you through my five favourite moments/quotes from my Christmas sitcom episodes. Let's begin:
5. Jim and Dwight's first snowball fight (The Office). Jim and Dwight meet in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot for an old fashioned snowball fight- or at least that's what Jim thinks. He gets outside to discover that the door has been locked with a chain so he can't get back into the building. Dwight then bursts out of a snowman, and pummels Jim with snowballs he has stored in a bookbag, which he is wearing on his chest. Jim is on the ground, in the fetal position, and Dwight continues to throw the snowballs until he is out, at which point he steps on Jim and declares victory. Priceless.
4. Brittany S. Pierce (Glee), who still believes in Santa, tells him: "You've gotten really tan", as she sits on his knee at the mall. This character delivers some of the best one-liners I have ever heard (e.g. "Did you know dolphins are gay sharks?"), and is one of TV's hidden gems. If you are thinking about watching Glee, pay close attention or you will miss her hilarious lines.
3. Sue Sylvester (Glee), as the Grinch. She is better than Jim Carey. Not to mention, her assistant Becky makes for an awesome Max. Sue Sylvester is amazing.
2. The Many Wigs of Dwight Schrute. As Dwight and Jim's snowball fight continues, we see that Dwight has a wig for everyone in the Office.
1. This made me laugh so hard, I almost peed my pants. 30 Rock might be my favourite show- never has an episode failed to make me laugh out loud (a true comedy will make you laugh out loud when you're all by yourself). When this scene came on, I thought I might explode: Two Black Swans. I am not even including a picture here because you need to see the video to get the full effect. Enjoy.
I love me a good sitcom, and will watch pretty much whatever happens to be on when I am in the mood for some laughter (except Two and a Half Men, which only makes me want to jump off a cliff). However, there are three current comedies which I follow faithfully: 30 Rock, Glee, and my never-fail show, The Office. The writers of these shows are GENIUS...in another life, I hope to be Tina Fey.
This week, I thought I would walk you through my five favourite moments/quotes from my Christmas sitcom episodes. Let's begin:
5. Jim and Dwight's first snowball fight (The Office). Jim and Dwight meet in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot for an old fashioned snowball fight- or at least that's what Jim thinks. He gets outside to discover that the door has been locked with a chain so he can't get back into the building. Dwight then bursts out of a snowman, and pummels Jim with snowballs he has stored in a bookbag, which he is wearing on his chest. Jim is on the ground, in the fetal position, and Dwight continues to throw the snowballs until he is out, at which point he steps on Jim and declares victory. Priceless.
 | |
| Dwight whipping snowballs at Jim, with the remains of his human snowman at his feet. |
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| Brittany and "tanned" Santa |
2. The Many Wigs of Dwight Schrute. As Dwight and Jim's snowball fight continues, we see that Dwight has a wig for everyone in the Office.
1. This made me laugh so hard, I almost peed my pants. 30 Rock might be my favourite show- never has an episode failed to make me laugh out loud (a true comedy will make you laugh out loud when you're all by yourself). When this scene came on, I thought I might explode: Two Black Swans. I am not even including a picture here because you need to see the video to get the full effect. Enjoy.
While all of these shows had many more great holiday moments, these are the ones that stood out to me, and brought some of that holiday cheer back that I was lacking this year. Thank you NBC and Fox for continuing to make me laugh at least once a week.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Harry...are you out there?
**WARNING: This post contains spoilers to the incredible movie "Harry and the Hendersons". If you have not seen this, I recommend watching it, and then coming back to read this. I will even lend it to you**
Okay, it's no secret if you know me that one of my all time favourite movies is Harry and the Hendersons. As a kid, I would watch this work of genius repeatedly with my brother (my parents had taped it off the TV onto a VHS...gotta love technology). We would even "play" Harry and the Hendersons in our family room downstairs. This was really a modified version of the popular childhood pastime "House" (who didn't play that?) in which one of us would sit on the couch and pretend to be driving (portraying George Henderson), while the other one (playing the role of Harry) would jump out in front of said car and pretend to get hit. We would then proceed to act out the movie until one of us got bored or we started fighting (which was a more likely). I don't ever recall not wanting to watch this movie, and in my adult years I embarked on a two year quest to find it on DVD (without having to pay insane shipping charges to get it from the UK). I was successful in the search when I walked into a used music store in Boston and found it NEW for $7.99! I think everyone in the store heard my squeals of joy. After checking the Hs in DVD sections for so long with no luck, I was totally unprepared to actually find it. Amazing moment.
On days when I have time (so pretty much every day), I like to take my dog for long walks through the trails at the Nature Park. Walking these trails, we actually do see a lot of nature (and by nature, I mean animals)- birds, squirrels, porcupines, beavers, etc. It's quite peaceful, and Molly is really in her element there...she charges through the trails, barely ever lifting her nose off the ground, like the hunting dog that she is. Since we aren't hunters and we live in the city, I feel like I am giving her a little taste of the life she could (and maybe should?) have, and this makes me feel like a superior dog owner. Sad, I know. Anyway, after the first snowfall that actually stuck, I noticed there were tons of deer prints along the path. But, in all of our walks, we've never actually seen a deer. So where are they? I started to look beyond the edge of the path and into the woods. They have to be in there somewhere- but where? The leaves have all fallen, so you can see quite a bit in there. Still, no deer sightings. However, since my curiosity was tweaked, I started to notice other things I had not before- like the sounds that came from the woods. While I assume that the crackling which resembled crunchy footsteps through the snow was actually just trees moving in the cold, I couldn't help but wonder if that's all it was. I started to ponder what could be lurking in those woods that I didn't even know about. I'm not talking about creepy perves hanging around in there (although, sometimes this crosses my mind, and causes Molly and I to charge a bit faster through the trails), but animals and other "creatures". And this, reader, is what led me to my ultimate thought of that particular day- what if bigfoots (or sasquatches, if you want me to be a grown up about it) really exist?? While I'm not insane, and think that if they did, it would have been confirmed by now (and not with blurry videos), I still couldn't help but continue with this thought.
Of course thinking about the potential existence of a bigfoot while I'm walking through the woods is going to get me remembering my childhood pal, Harry. Harry and his fellow sasquatch buddies were pretty good at hiding to keep their existence a secret from the human folk. Remember the scene where Jacques Lafleur is running through the forest like a mad man (with his rifle), looking to shoot Harry (if you've never seen the movie, you obviously would have no idea what I'm talking about...and should be ashamed)? He's searching and searching, and as he runs by a tree, the camera pans up, and there's Harry, sitting there looking down on him. And Lafleur doesn't even notice! Of course, after remembering this scene, I started walking with my head up...you know, just in case. But the scene that really made me feel a little uneasy as I walked through the woods alone with a beagle who couldn't protect me from a mouse was the very last one of the movie. The one that makes your heart ache and your eyes leak and causes you to turn away from whoever you're watching it with out of embarrassment that you're crying for a bigfoot. The scene where the Hendersons bid Harry farewell, and send him back into the forest alone. BUT WAIT- he's not alone, we soon find out. Out of nowhere, three more bigfoots and a baby bigfoot appear! SHOCKER! This makes the viewer feel a little less sad about Harry leaving, since we now know he has a family- or at least some friends. I tried to find this clip so you could see what I was talking about, but could only find a huge section of the movie. Fast forward to 5:25 to witness this beautiful moment:
Seriously, I, the viewer, had no idea they were even there until they started moving. The woods are like a whole other world, and even though there's no bigfoot in real life (probably, right?), there's a hell of a lot going on beyond what we see. Now, while Molly and I are walking along, I always wonder what's behind those trees, watching us. While it kind of scares me to think of this, I like the mystery of it. It makes me feel like a kid with lots left to discover. Think about this next time you're out for a walk. I mean, don't scare yourself and develop a fear of walks in the great outdoors (if that was where I was going, I would reminisce about Blair Witch...oops). But really take in your surroundings- it's kind of amazing to think there's a whole order of things in those woods that we don't even see, but it goes on right in front of us.
On days when I have time (so pretty much every day), I like to take my dog for long walks through the trails at the Nature Park. Walking these trails, we actually do see a lot of nature (and by nature, I mean animals)- birds, squirrels, porcupines, beavers, etc. It's quite peaceful, and Molly is really in her element there...she charges through the trails, barely ever lifting her nose off the ground, like the hunting dog that she is. Since we aren't hunters and we live in the city, I feel like I am giving her a little taste of the life she could (and maybe should?) have, and this makes me feel like a superior dog owner. Sad, I know. Anyway, after the first snowfall that actually stuck, I noticed there were tons of deer prints along the path. But, in all of our walks, we've never actually seen a deer. So where are they? I started to look beyond the edge of the path and into the woods. They have to be in there somewhere- but where? The leaves have all fallen, so you can see quite a bit in there. Still, no deer sightings. However, since my curiosity was tweaked, I started to notice other things I had not before- like the sounds that came from the woods. While I assume that the crackling which resembled crunchy footsteps through the snow was actually just trees moving in the cold, I couldn't help but wonder if that's all it was. I started to ponder what could be lurking in those woods that I didn't even know about. I'm not talking about creepy perves hanging around in there (although, sometimes this crosses my mind, and causes Molly and I to charge a bit faster through the trails), but animals and other "creatures". And this, reader, is what led me to my ultimate thought of that particular day- what if bigfoots (or sasquatches, if you want me to be a grown up about it) really exist?? While I'm not insane, and think that if they did, it would have been confirmed by now (and not with blurry videos), I still couldn't help but continue with this thought.
Of course thinking about the potential existence of a bigfoot while I'm walking through the woods is going to get me remembering my childhood pal, Harry. Harry and his fellow sasquatch buddies were pretty good at hiding to keep their existence a secret from the human folk. Remember the scene where Jacques Lafleur is running through the forest like a mad man (with his rifle), looking to shoot Harry (if you've never seen the movie, you obviously would have no idea what I'm talking about...and should be ashamed)? He's searching and searching, and as he runs by a tree, the camera pans up, and there's Harry, sitting there looking down on him. And Lafleur doesn't even notice! Of course, after remembering this scene, I started walking with my head up...you know, just in case. But the scene that really made me feel a little uneasy as I walked through the woods alone with a beagle who couldn't protect me from a mouse was the very last one of the movie. The one that makes your heart ache and your eyes leak and causes you to turn away from whoever you're watching it with out of embarrassment that you're crying for a bigfoot. The scene where the Hendersons bid Harry farewell, and send him back into the forest alone. BUT WAIT- he's not alone, we soon find out. Out of nowhere, three more bigfoots and a baby bigfoot appear! SHOCKER! This makes the viewer feel a little less sad about Harry leaving, since we now know he has a family- or at least some friends. I tried to find this clip so you could see what I was talking about, but could only find a huge section of the movie. Fast forward to 5:25 to witness this beautiful moment:
 |
| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvmaGKfIyn0 |
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Natural Looks
Because I don't wear makeup most days, people would say my look is "natural". When I do wear make up, it's not much. I don't like how it feels on my face- all gunky and like I could scrape it off with my fingernails (if I had any to speak of). And, honestly, I just don't feel like investing the time and money into it- that's probably the biggest reason I choose the "natural" look 99% of the time.I'm lazy and cheap, and if I don't need to do it, I won't.
The other day, as my pooch and I were out for a walk (where the bulk of my thinking occurs), it dawned on me that just because I don't have makeup plastered to my face doesn't really mean I'm walking around, looking the way I was born to look. A great deal of effort goes into this tired, girl-next-door look that I'm so proudly sporting.
Let's talk eyebrows. I know personally, my eyebrows would not look the way they do if I just left them alone to flourish gloriously on my face. No, no, no sir. Without waxing and tweezing, you might think two caterpillars had chosen to nest on my forehead. And I don't mean those cute little semi-furry ones that you see everywhere in the summer. I mean fat, hairy, HUGE caterpillars that you were thrilled to find as a kid.Ones that crawled around at a slightly slower pace than those other ones I was talking about because they're just too big to go any faster. Like these:
Can you imagine??? Two of those would take up my entire forehead. And, that, my friends, is what I looked like before an angel introduced me to the fine art of waxing. The first time I had a strip of my Berts ripped from my skin, everything looked a little bit brighter. My peripheral vision extended further than it had before, and when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I had eyelashes. It was like Christmas had come early that year.
And what about teeth...are your teeth the way they would be without braces, whitening chemicals, retainers, bleach, etc? I was born an addict, and because of that addiction, I had to endure 18 excruciating months wearing braces when I was a teenager. I was a thumb sucker. Not only did I suck my thumb as a baby and small child, but I actually carried that habit with me to the ripe old age of nine. That's normal, right?? Anyway, as we all know, sucking your thumb leads to an overbite, and therefore sucking your thumb usually leads to large amounts of metal being glued to your teeth. And for years after, more metal (and plastic) being worn in your mouth to keep your teeth from moving back to their original state. What's sexier than when the person sharing the bed with you puts on their retainer before crawling in? Hot. But, it's something many people do to keep those pearly whites looking their best. Although I couldn't even tell you where my retainer is, and have not worn it in five years, I fear what my teeth might look like now had I never had braces:
So I've made my point, right? What we consider to be "natural" today is not exactly the way we truly look like in our untouched state. But there's one more factor I want you to think about. One that we fuss over so much and change so much, that a lot of people don't even know what theirs really looks like- HAIR. Even for men, this is a part of their looks that can't be left alone. For real, I put more effort into my hair than any other part of my body. I straighten out my frizzy curls just so I can put it in a ponytail. Even when I wear it "as is" (i.e. curly), it's loaded with product, which includes anti-frizz creams, gels, mousse, hairspray, and serums. I could be rich if I sold all of my hair products. And don't get me started on the colour of hair. A lot of people I know don't really know what colour their hair is, and if they do, they don't sport it. I could be a curly haired brunette today, and a sleek haired blonde tomorrow. It's amazing how many options we have today.
I am not writing this to slag myself or to make you, the reader, think I am just picking myself apart. I am also not fishing for compliments, as these things sometimes suggest. The point of this article is not to encourage people to change the way they look, because I honestly envy those who are just themselves, without altering anything about them. I'm all for embracing yourself and the way you are. I always thought I was like that, until it dawned on me that I look nothing like the person I really am. I am simply pointing out that there are very few people who can say they don't do anything to make themselves look a different way.
So, my question and small thought for you is: "Do you know what you would look like untouched?" Think about it...it's kind of scary. And I'm not just talking sans makeup- I mean no hair dye, hair products and appliances, tweezing and waxing, braces, teeth whiteners, padded bras, etc. Here is my self portrait of what I would look like if I just let myself be, as God made me:
The other day, as my pooch and I were out for a walk (where the bulk of my thinking occurs), it dawned on me that just because I don't have makeup plastered to my face doesn't really mean I'm walking around, looking the way I was born to look. A great deal of effort goes into this tired, girl-next-door look that I'm so proudly sporting.
Let's talk eyebrows. I know personally, my eyebrows would not look the way they do if I just left them alone to flourish gloriously on my face. No, no, no sir. Without waxing and tweezing, you might think two caterpillars had chosen to nest on my forehead. And I don't mean those cute little semi-furry ones that you see everywhere in the summer. I mean fat, hairy, HUGE caterpillars that you were thrilled to find as a kid.Ones that crawled around at a slightly slower pace than those other ones I was talking about because they're just too big to go any faster. Like these:
 | |
| My natural eyebrow |
Can you imagine??? Two of those would take up my entire forehead. And, that, my friends, is what I looked like before an angel introduced me to the fine art of waxing. The first time I had a strip of my Berts ripped from my skin, everything looked a little bit brighter. My peripheral vision extended further than it had before, and when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I had eyelashes. It was like Christmas had come early that year.
And what about teeth...are your teeth the way they would be without braces, whitening chemicals, retainers, bleach, etc? I was born an addict, and because of that addiction, I had to endure 18 excruciating months wearing braces when I was a teenager. I was a thumb sucker. Not only did I suck my thumb as a baby and small child, but I actually carried that habit with me to the ripe old age of nine. That's normal, right?? Anyway, as we all know, sucking your thumb leads to an overbite, and therefore sucking your thumb usually leads to large amounts of metal being glued to your teeth. And for years after, more metal (and plastic) being worn in your mouth to keep your teeth from moving back to their original state. What's sexier than when the person sharing the bed with you puts on their retainer before crawling in? Hot. But, it's something many people do to keep those pearly whites looking their best. Although I couldn't even tell you where my retainer is, and have not worn it in five years, I fear what my teeth might look like now had I never had braces:
 |
| My grade six school picture |
So I've made my point, right? What we consider to be "natural" today is not exactly the way we truly look like in our untouched state. But there's one more factor I want you to think about. One that we fuss over so much and change so much, that a lot of people don't even know what theirs really looks like- HAIR. Even for men, this is a part of their looks that can't be left alone. For real, I put more effort into my hair than any other part of my body. I straighten out my frizzy curls just so I can put it in a ponytail. Even when I wear it "as is" (i.e. curly), it's loaded with product, which includes anti-frizz creams, gels, mousse, hairspray, and serums. I could be rich if I sold all of my hair products. And don't get me started on the colour of hair. A lot of people I know don't really know what colour their hair is, and if they do, they don't sport it. I could be a curly haired brunette today, and a sleek haired blonde tomorrow. It's amazing how many options we have today.
I am not writing this to slag myself or to make you, the reader, think I am just picking myself apart. I am also not fishing for compliments, as these things sometimes suggest. The point of this article is not to encourage people to change the way they look, because I honestly envy those who are just themselves, without altering anything about them. I'm all for embracing yourself and the way you are. I always thought I was like that, until it dawned on me that I look nothing like the person I really am. I am simply pointing out that there are very few people who can say they don't do anything to make themselves look a different way.
So, my question and small thought for you is: "Do you know what you would look like untouched?" Think about it...it's kind of scary. And I'm not just talking sans makeup- I mean no hair dye, hair products and appliances, tweezing and waxing, braces, teeth whiteners, padded bras, etc. Here is my self portrait of what I would look like if I just let myself be, as God made me:
 |
| The size of Bert's chest did not need to be altered to be accurate |
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