Hi friends! I can't believe how long it has been since I posted anything- so sorry (I know you're terribly disappointed). August has proven to be a busy month in our household. Actually, I was working for the month, and by the time I got home each night (after a ridiculously long commute some days), I just wanted to walk my dog, eat my supper, and relax. Anything I wrote would have been nonsense.
This morning, after dropping Clinton off at work, I did something that I have been putting off (not intentionally) for over a year- legally changing my last name. Even though our wedding was last August, I still had not taken the plunge and become a full-on Charlton. I had changed my name on some things to reflect my marriage, such as the supply teaching lists, my email (which I believe is actually hyphenated), my insurance, cell phone, and other small things. However, my driver's license has remained Gormley, and I think Clinton was starting to think I was just going to keep it that way. Truth be told, I just despise going to the DMV and waiting in those line ups. Plus, shortly after we got married, we found out we had to move- I didn't want to go change my name, and then have to go back shortly after to change my address, making it two trips to a place I try to avoid at all costs. So, why not wait until I knew the new address, and do it all at once? (Sidenote: we moved in February).
A couple things shocked me during this outing to Service New Brunswick this morning. The first one was the lack of people waiting in line. There was nobody there! It's like I was meant to go on this day, at this time. Gold! I was immediately directed to a desk, where a very kind woman assisted me. So, we went through the whole spiel (new name, new address, etc.) and once she had entered everything into the computer, she gave me a couple print outs to sign. The second thing that shocked me was how surreal it was to read the sheet that stated my name would go from Gormley to Charlton. It suddenly hit me that never again would I have my maiden name. My birth name, the name that I had carried with me for the first 27-years of my life, my family name. I no longer would share a name with my mom, my dad, my brothers, my grandmother, or anyone else in my family. I guess I always knew that, but had never really thought about it. I definitely did not expect to be so emotional, as I was signing my new signature for my driver's license. I've been going by Charlton for the last year, but for some reason, this kind of cemented it. Made it official. No turning back.
I had never realized how attached I had become to my former last name. I almost felt as though I was signing away a little piece of myself. People who I meet from this point on in my life won't even know I was ever a Gormley, unless I tell them. It's so strange! I had always planned on changing my name, and never considered keeping my maiden name. I would be lying to say I wasn't having second thoughts when I saw it on paper. I mean, it's the new millennium- people keep their names all the time. How bad would it be for me to be a Gormley, and for my husband to be a Charlton? Alas, I signed anyway, and proceeded over to the desk where they would print my new ID for me. I waited nervously, and for some strange reason, feeling like I might start crying. This had nothing to do with taking on a new name, but everything to do with saying goodbye to my old name.
By the time the woman handed me my new ID, the feeling had just about passed. After all, I was taking on a new name, not a new personality. I'm still the same person I was yesterday, and I of course am still a Gormley, and always will be. When I glanced down and read the driver's license, I couldn't help but smile. It was official, and despite my reservations about parting ways with the only name I'd ever known, it felt pretty good to know that I now share a name with my husband. While I feel silly for having all of these mixed emotions over a name, a word, I also feel like that's kind of a normal feeling. I just wish someone would have warned me!
